Jaunty AnacondasSend email to jauntyanacondas@gmail.com
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Death At A FuneralDeath at a FuneralDeath At A Funeral
(Priest stands over an open grave reading from the bible. The family and Friends all mourn and some even are crying)
[Priest] Dearly beloved, we gather today to mourn the passing of one of god's children, Larry Burns. No doubt one of the worlds most renounced- [Man 1] We ain't mournin'. [Priest] What? [Man 1] We ain't mournin', we're glad he's dead. [Priest] Why? [Man 2] He was a jerk! [Priest] Oh come now, really [Man 3] It's true, he stole my car. [Man 1] He stole my wife. [Woman] He stole my sperm deposit. (All look at woman) [Wom
by ~JauntyAnacondas
The Electric ChairThe Electric ChairThe Electric Chair
(Camera opens with a prisoner sitting in a chair, looking very sad and solemn.)
(Two guards come to the prisoner.)
[Guard 1] Alright, 1384229. It's time.
[Prisoner] .....Ok…
(Prisoner is led down a hallway by the guards, into the room where the electric chair is.)
[Guard 2] Where's the executioner?
(Guy comes in wearing a black mask and wielding an ax)
[Guard 1] Not You! The one for the electric chair!
[Ax Executioner] Oh, sorry….
(Walks away)
(Other Executioner comes out)
by ~JauntyAnacondas
Shooting LessonsShooting LessonsShooting Lessons
[Instructor] Good day Mr..........*checks list* Basil.
[Basil] Good day to you too. I've come for my first shootin' lesson.
[Instructor] Well, then. Lets hop to it. Follow me.
*Leads him to shooting grounds*
[Instructor] Here we are. Ok Mr. Basil, lets begin. First, pick up the gun.
*Turns to the man next to him and yanks the gun out of his hand*
[Man] Hey!
[Basil] That was easy!
[Instructor] No! No! No! Not his gun, yours!
[Basil] Oh....Sorry!
by ~JauntyAnacondas
Murder in a BarMurder in a BarMurder in a Bar
(One man is sitting on a bar stool, hands covered in blood holding a bloody knife , all while sipping on his whiskey. Second man enters and takes a seat next to the first man.)
[Man 1] Oh there you are! I was afraid you wouldn't make it.
[Man 2] Well, it was a very busy day today you know?
[Man 1] Yeah, the way we work is murder.
[Man 2] I know (pulls out a gun from underneath him) Well this week I killed at least 45 people.
[Man 1] Oh that's nothing, I killed 72 (stabs a passerby) Oh, 73.
[Man 2] Well there haven't b
by ~JauntyAnacondas
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Devious Info
- Interests: Monty Python
- Favourite movie: Monty Python movies
- Wallpaper of choice: Monty Python
- Favourite cartoon character: Spiny Norman
- Personal Quote: Lemmon Curry?
- Email: jauntyanacondas@gmail.com
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